If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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