Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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