Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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