the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
