There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
