Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
