Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
