ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
