i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
