She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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