I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
