my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
