I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
