New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
No I am not eating basil off your cock
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
