he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Come on in and take your pants off
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