R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
