Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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