marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
