Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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