drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize