everyone is single if you try hard enough
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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