K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
