You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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