My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
