I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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