yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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