God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Two words: nipple clamps
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