i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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