I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
