he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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