I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
