i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
