Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
