Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
