if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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