We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
