i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
