Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
