8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
