careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
