So drunk its hurt
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
oh god the rape fog is back!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
