The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
