You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
