How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
