Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
