There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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