I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
