I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
