even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I love you.
Bad choice
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
