sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
