Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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