Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
