Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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