i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
