either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
