I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize