Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
