I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
