Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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