whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
