Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I lost the right to judge tonight
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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