white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
