I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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