He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
