I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My pussy is not your playground.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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