I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think people are normalizing furries
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
