How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
