his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
