Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize