I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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