Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
