Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize