I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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